“Would you like to talk about conflict?” That question gets a lot of different reactions when I ask it of clients. The body language speaks volumes. Some people seem to shrink within themselves, pushing back into their chairs, eyes narrowing and their arms hugged tight around their bodies. Others sit up straight and lean forward in their chairs, their eyes opening wide and their arms coming up in front of their bodies. It often seems as though all the air has left the room.

“Conflict” is a loaded word. It often represents the worst aspects of our human behaviour, resulting in human suffering and death. The stigma attached to conflict causes many of us to teach our children that conflict should be avoided.

The reality is that we cannot avoid conflict. It is a necessary byproduct of our interaction with each other, and is an essential ingredient to our growth and development. In our personal and business lives, conflict is often to success what yeast is to wine. The key is in understanding how to manage conflict.

What causes conflict? Conflict occurs when we diverge with others regarding: our perception of a problem; goals, beliefs philosophies and values; roles, responsibilities and boundaries; approaches to problem solving; limited commodities; emotional needs; and our interpretation of the law.

That pretty well covers the waterfront, doesn’t it? That’s why conflict is inevitable, and a reality of daily life. We can’t avoid its presence in our lives, unless we choose to live alone in a cave of the landscape or spirit.

There is good news. Conflict can be a positive force in our lives and businesses. By managing conflict, we can grow, stretch and create innovative strategies for success. 
In our personal relationships, we pay for avoided conflict with relationships where feelings first “go underground” and then just “go away’. Managed conflict can bring us closer together and help to create deep, dynamic mutual understandings.

In business, if there are twelve people around the table who all think the same way, you have eleven people too many. Managed conflict can harness the diversity of the team in the service of innovation and creativity.

We work with individuals and organizations to make conflict a positive part of their lives. The life skills and concepts that we teach are simple yet profound, and go to the heart of leadership skills and personal accountability. They have worked for others, and we know that they will work for you and your organization. Please contact us here or by telephone at 780-433-7722 if you want more information about a Conflict Management Workshop for your organization.